20 Insights to a Stronger Marriage from the Lessons of Divorce

Divorce can be one of life's most challenging experiences, but it also provides a unique perspective on what can make or break a marriage. Here are twenty tips for a stronger, healthier marriage gleaned from the reflections of someone who has walked through the storm of separation.

1. Communicate Openly: Ensure that there are no off-limit topics in your marriage. Open communication is the key to understanding and supporting each other.
2. Respect Each Other: Mutual respect is the foundation of a strong partnership. Remember that respect is reflected not just in words, but in actions.
3. Keep the Romance Alive: Never stop dating your spouse. Regular romantic gestures can keep the spark alive.
4. Support Each Other's Dreams: Encourage your partner's aspirations and goals, just as you expect them to support yours.
5. Practice Forgiveness: Holding onto grudges can poison a relationship. Learn to forgive and move forward.
6. Share Responsibilities: A marriage is a partnership, and sharing household and parenting responsibilities is crucial.
7. Keep Individual Identities: While you are a team, it's important to maintain your individuality and support your partner in doing the same.
8. Manage Finances Together: Money is often a source of contention. Work on your financial plans and goals as a couple.
9. Invest in Quality Time: Spend meaningful time together to strengthen your bond. Make it a priority, not an afterthought.
10. Be Flexible: Change is a part of life. Be willing to adapt and grow together through different phases of your relationship.
11. Show Appreciation: Regularly express gratitude for your partner and the little things they do.
12. Establish Trust: Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. Work tirelessly to build and maintain it.
13. Seek Help When Needed: Don't be afraid to seek counseling or therapy if you're struggling. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness.
14. Learn Each Other's Love Language: Understand how your partner expresses and receives love to better meet their emotional needs.
15. Maintain Intimacy: Physical intimacy is a vital part of a marriage. Keep the flame burning by regularly connecting on this level.
16. Take Breaks if Necessary: Sometimes, a little space can help you appreciate each other more. Know when to take a step back and breathe.
17. Handle Conflicts Wisely: Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable. Conflict resolution skills are essential.
18. Remember Why You Fell in Love: In tough times, reminisce about the reasons you chose each other and let those memories guide your actions.
19. Stay Positive: A positive outlook can overcome many hurdles. Focus on the good in each other and in your relationship.
20. Be Each Other’s Best Friend: Lastly, cultivate a deep friendship. It’s this bond that often carries a marriage through the roughest waters.

While no marriage is perfect, these tips can help guide couples towards a more fulfilling and enduring partnership. Drawing from the wisdom of those who have experienced the pitfalls of marriage can help us forge stronger bonds in our own relationships.